MIND FLAYER'S ROOM OF HUMEROUS VERSE

MIND FLAYER'S ROOM OF HUMEROUS VERSE

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I am The Mind Flayer.

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I am The Mind Flayer. I used to be in to punishing. Bad people, Evil people - they all got punished. I used to go for a walk in the countryside and decapitate daisies, I used to eat defenceless puppy-dogs. But now, I do not. Well, maybe the occasional puppy-dog (you can't stop being a dogaholic just like that, you know!).

However, alas, I have changed. Now I am in to Humerous Verse. Why? I don't know, I guess I just felt that the mind flaying and the punishing was just getting on top of me. There was too much stress, you know. I was, like, having to get up really early, in the morning, just to be at my Punishment Room on time for the Dawn Sacrafice.

Also the whole punishing thing seemed to affect my social life. Whenever I went to the pub with Necromancer and Umber Hulk, I ended up punishing all of the people I met. I soon found myself starting to drift away from them.

Now, I am alone.

But, with my new Room of Humerous Verse I hope to attract all sorts of new and intersting people - people who can give me guidance and show me where I am going wrong.

Here's to a new life.

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My Humerous Versals.

The *ode Song.

THE TOAD WHO CROWED.

There was once a toad,
who crowed,
early in the morning.

Cock-a-doodle-dode,
crowed the toad,
whenever he tried yawning.

Nearby was a road,
where people rode,
Just as day was dawning.

The people who goed,
to the road,
had never knowed,
a toad, who crowed...

At first they ha-ha-ed and ho-ho-ed,
as they mused at the toad,
But soon it just got boring.

So they grabbed the toad,
and to the road,
they sowed the toad,
then with a heavy load
the squished the toad,
and his blood was pouring.

The *ope song.

The Antelope Who Killed The Pope.

There was an antelope,
And he killed the Pope,
With a bar of soap.
There was no hope.

He could not cope,
He started to mope,
He was spaced out on dope,
And hung himself from a rope,

Was he dead? Nope.
There was still scope,
For him to elope,
But then he had a heart attack and died anyway.

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My Pledge.

This is my Pledge.

I am sorry for all of the people who I have punished, sacraficed, deprived of their puppy-dogs, messed up their gardens decapitating daisies, flayed their minds and all other harm and distress I may have caused in my formative years as a Punisher.

I promise only to punish those who REALLY need punishing (e.g. those who talk badly of Damon 'The Man' Hill - for he is the coolestr dude in the world).

I promise only to sacrafice on special occasions (e.g. Halloween, Christmas, Easter, Pentacost, Pancake Day, National Mind Flaying Day ect.)

I promise only to deprive the puppy-dog owners of their puppy-dogs if their puppy-dog is a particulary sumptueous, tasty, puppy-dog.

I promise to decapitate only 4 daisies per day.

And I promise to flay the minds of only those people with dodgey beards.

I hold this promise in hope to one day rebuild my life and be the normal Jarvis Cocker look-a-like that I once was.

The Mind Flayer~~

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Favourite links

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	Mind Flaying with a difference. Try different ways of flaying peoples minds. This ones gogle-de-good.
	My last sacrafices. These are my lastest sacfraficial victims.
	How to take a joke - By The Mind Flayer. If you are offended by punishing or sacraficing - go to a different web site, d'uh!
Email me at: [email protected]

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